The Improbability Volumes – Day 21

See DISCLAIMERS.  Again, this section is a really rough draft. My apologies for the hard edges.

Also, there are a lot of hints about ADULT SITUATIONS. You’d better be  over 18 if you’re reading this.


ADDICTION

[Backrev: Foster gives her a brick of cash when she joins the team, and gives her instructions to live lean, without a trail]

[NOTE: not sure I’m keeping this. It was way too difficult to get out, and far too repetitive, but there’s a kernel of truth here between these two characters that has to be expressed somewhere in the novel.]

Late in Act II

[Needs to be reconciled with everything in Day 16]

Denna’s slowed her steps as she approached her block and tried to get a sense of her surroundings. She feared and hoped for the same thing – that she would feel the weight of someone’s gaze on her, someone who wasn’t a threat, but who’s eyes held a much welcome promise. [FIX]

Sometimes, she wondered if it was her imagination that she could feel Katja’s eyes on her. Wishful thinking with no basis whatsoever in science. Yet each time she’d come back to this ramshackle building and sensed someone was watching, Katja had soon shown up at her door.

As she felt the telltale itch against the back of her neck, she thought that perhaps today would be no different.

Inside the building, she climbed the stairs two at a time until she reached the third floor landing. Today, for reasons she didn’t understand, her need was a deep thrumming immediate ache, so she hurried to unlock her door and shut it behind her.

She always locked it, but not this time. If it meant that Katja might be delayed a single moment before coming into this room to take what was offered, then Denna would leave it unlocked.

In the side room that faced the street, she pushed the curtains wide and stood in plain sight for a full minute. Most of the time, she avoided these windows and tried to remain hidden.

Not on the days when Katja might come.

At first, weeks had passed between Katja’s first few visits. Now, she came each day that Denna met with the team. Soon after Denna returned, she’d hear three sharp raps on the door.

Today, Katja didn’t have to knock. By the time she walked in the door, Denna had already removed her jacket and boots, and stood nearby in jeans and a snug tank top.

Katja appraised her, and Denna tried not to blush. Nothing she’d ever experienced in her world, not even the madness that had transpired in Munich, made her feel as vulnerable as Katja’s eyes did.

When Katja looked at her, everything outside of the room ceased to exist.

“Someone’s eager,” Katja said, slipping off her coat.

Denna didn’t think lying would get her what she wanted any faster, so she stayed silent.

Katja left her coat and gun by the door, and turned to stalk closer to Denna, who couldn’t help but back up until she found herself pressed against the wall.

Katja looked hungry, and as Denna watched, she licked her lower lip then drew it under her teeth. Katja pressed closer, taking what seemed to Denna to be an agonizingly long time before Katja finally kissed her.

Denna moaned in welcome.

She would not give up her job. She would not give up her quest to find the trail that led to the Falcon. She would not betray her country. But Katja’s eyes made promises Denna could not resist, and demanded something of her she could not deny.

The only thing she had left to give was herself, and she surrendered willingly.

When Katja touched her, something unlocked inside her and reconfigured her as someone new. Cell by cell, she was transformed from the person who existed outside this room into a woman without fear, without hesitation, without secrets.

Katja saw every piece of this new person, this fearless woman Denna became. It wasn’t just that Katja saw her when no one else really ever had. With Katja, Denna was an entirely different better person, and that was the woman she knew Katja saw.

Because of that, when they were alone together, and only then, Denna would do anything Katja asked of her.

Here in this room, there was no judgment for the things she craved, the ways she wanted Katja to touch her. Here everything she wanted was freely given – she offered herself, and Katja took her to heights and depths she had never imagined. She soared free in Katja’s arms, and was broken down to nothing before she was molded back together again.

Katja found ways without speaking to ask for Denna’s consent. The crook of an eyebrow, the deliberate pause waiting for Denna’s reaction. Denna had lost count of how many times Katja had tipped her chin so they could look in each other’s eyes, so that Denna could offer confirmation that Katja could continue. Always, Katja made it clear that everything between them was something Denna had chosen.

Hours later, pushed to her physical limit, Denna collapsed after her last orgasm. Spent, she fell asleep as soon as Katja released her, nestled in Katja’s warm arms, the scent of them everywhere.

When she woke two hours later, Katja was gone, as expected.

Alone again, she wondered what she was doing. It was a dangerous game that would not end well, and someone – not necessarily either of them – would get hurt.

Yet, when she thought of pushing Katja aside, of turning Katja in to her team, it seemed like a physical pain took up residence in her chest. It hurt to think of casting Katja aside, even after all of the crimes she had committed.

In the dark hours every night before sleep finally claimed her, Denna spent a lot of time wondering if she herself was a traitor.

**

Katja should have been back at her apartment hours ago, but she roamed the dark late night city streets alone. She needed to walk tonight.

She sighed. What she really needed to do was put this whole thing with Lopez behind her. Nothing good would come of it, and Katja was certain she’d end up dead or in prison.

Yet when she thought of setting it all aside, she would clench her hands into fists at the thought of never again seeing the look on Denna’s face whenever Katja walked into her flat.

Those eyes begged for Denna to be taken, though Denna never spoke the words. The word “please” never crossed her lips, but with her eyes, her hands, and her moans – even though that came dangerously close to crossing the line – Denna begged Katja to take everything that was offered.

It was absolutely irresistible.

Hungry, demanding in her own way, all lean muscles and soft curves, Denna was a smorgasbord. The taste and feel of her were intoxicating, and Katja couldn’t get enough.

She wanted to hear Denna scream, but it was of course impossible. The last thing they needed was to draw attention to themselves, and the gendarmes would not be a welcome addition to their trysts, but each time Katja got Denna alone and pushed her repeatedly to the edge only to pull back again, by the time Denna finally let go, Katja wanted to hear it.

Instead, she allowed herself only the pleasure of Denna’s teeth sunk deeply into her own shoulder, and enjoyed the ache of the bites long after the pleasure was over. [Fix]

Katja pushed – hard. She demanded everything – to push past limits Denna may not have known she had, to go again when Denna  seemed spent – every possible way she could think of for Denna to surrender to her, everything Katja asked of her, Denna gave. Her consent, her submission, her willingness, her body – Denna never said no.

Katja had never known anyone like her, and craved Denna all the time. As it was, she was forcing herself to stay away until Denna summoned her, otherwise she’d be in her flat every day.

Even now, she fought the urge to retrace her steps back to Denna’s apartment.

Lopez was an addiction, one Katja wasn’t sure she could kick. She knew for damned sure that she didn’t want to. Yet every time she left, Katja had the same thoughts. She was putting her entire life in jeopardy by continuing to be involved with Denna. Penelope would be furious when she found out, but Katja hoped that day was a long way off.

Nothing could come of this. One of these days, one of them was going to come to her senses, walk away and never return.

Or rather, one day, that’s what Katja would do, she thought, but she knew it was a lie.

It was the other alternative that gave her the most pause.

One of these days, Denna was going to grow tired of their little games, and would remember that she was a federal agent having a clandestine affair with a known assassin. No amount of sexual power-play would be enough to save them from the inevitable fallout.

Then again, it wasn’t just sex anymore, was it?

Katja had known long ago that there was something different about Denna Lopez. She should have known by the way she herself had responded to Denna’s capture by Renault and Roux that this situation was never going to go as planned.

When had Denna become more to Katja than her own business?

She slowed her steps, but found herself wanting to run and not stop until she reached the ocean. She finally had to admit the truth, even if only to herself.

There was no one in the world like Denna Lopez, and somehow, Katja wanted to find a way to keep her for herself. She wanted Denna to belong to her, to be Katja’s in all the ways that it was possible, but she couldn’t find a path to that place from where she stood. Their positions were untenable, but there was a place that existed where all of things didn’t matter.

Katja had to find a way to bring that place out into the real world, and she had no idea how to do it. She was kidding herself if she thought that she could walk away from Denna for good without looking back.

The question that bothered her now made her uneasy.

Did Denna want her the same way? Was there anything that Denna was willing to give up to keep Katja?


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